I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx


by David Selden
Dec. 8, 2017
There is something about the Theremin, both its sound and the manner of its playing, that is almost comedic. An all-electric musical saw, its over-familiar, spooked warble has become a staple of B-movie sound effects. A "good vibration" quickly reached for as shorthand for the uncanny, curdling quickly into cliché or cute eccentricity. The Theremin was and is however the sound of the future, albeit the sound of the future as first heard in the technologically-optimistic Soviet Russia of the 1920’s. Whether in Miklós Rózsa’s scores for Spellbound and The Lost Weekend, Bernard Hermann’s work inThe Day the Earth Stood Still (or indeed Jimmy Page’s diabolic dabblingsiii) the eldritch tones of the Theremin have served the movies well as a signifier that something is amiss...

After a long international career exhibiting video installation and photography, David Selden renounced the art world in favor of the far less superficial drag scene and became intimately involved with a number of notorious London fetish clubs. ‘Retiring’ to Berlin in 2007 having run out of pseudonyms, he has written about music for Dorfdisco and about art for Whitehot Magazine as well as contributing numerous catalogue essays and translations for a variety of publications and websites. His misadventures in the world of anti-music can be endured at affeprotokoll.tumblr.com

by Lindsay Long
Dec. 4, 2017
The perilous streets of Mexico have long been notorious for brutal street gangs, and the Intrépidos Punks prove to be only one more example of such a sinister society. With police brutality, rape, and vandalism this Mexploitation hell ride wastes no time cutting to the chase. Before the spray-painted intro credits even have a chance to dry, sexy nuns wielding guns stage a bank heist. Fleeing the scene, they are met with a group of leather clad, fro-hawked bikers and take off to the sound of a sick Sweet Emotion-esque theme song. Punk isn’t just a costume it’s a way of life for these savage cretins who kill time and brain cells partying hard or terrorizing the streets on their customized cycles...
Currently holdin’ it down in the dirty south city of Atlanta, Network Awesome contributor Lindsay can be found frequenting house parties, punk rock shows, seedy thrift stores, or glued to her computer screen unearthing the endless gems today's internet offers. A self-proclaimed fan of all things vintage, including the nudie mags of yesteryear, she possesses an insatiable appetite for anything visually mind-blowing or just totally tasteless. Notorious B.I.G. sums her up best with a line from ‘Gimme the Loot': ”Dangerous. Crazier than a bag of f*@#$%g angel dust.”

by CremasterFanatic.com
Dec. 3, 2017

Cremaster 3 (182 min, 2002) was the last film in the cycle to be completed and is the longest film in the series. As the midpoint between the two reflected halves of the Cremaster Cycle, the main themes of Cremaster 3 are Narcissism and hubris. The Architecht, the Apprentice, the Novitiate, and the Chrysler Building can all be seen as “reflections” of one another. In keeping with the Narcissitic theme, Cremaster 3 directly references all five films in the cycle in a number of scenes: the demolition derby (each car represents a different film), the harness race (each team wears silks bearing the logo of a different installment), the Order (each level of the Guggenheim Museum presents a challenge related to a different Cremaster film), and the closing scene atop the Chrysler Building (the Architecht holds five bouquets, whose flowers symbolically refer to the five films).

The bulk of Cremaster 3 is set in New York during the construction of the Chrysler Building in 1930. At the time, the Chrysler Building and the Bank of Manhattan Building were both vying to be the world’s tallest skyscraper. The Bank of Manhattan Builiding was designed to be 927 feet hign - two feet taller than the Chrysler Building. Shortly before its completion, a secret 18-foot Nirosta steel spire was raised atop the Chrysler Building, making it the taller building. Much of the labor used in the construction of the Chrysler Building was provided by Irish Laborers, many of whom were also Masons. Organized crime (the “Syndicate”) was heavily involved in New York City’s construction industry.

Barney intertwines the story of the erection of the Chrylser Building with Masonic lore and rituals. Candidates for Masonic initiation must pass through three degrees: Entered Apprentice, Fellowcraft, and Master Mason. At the culmination of Masonic initiation, Masons reenact the murder, burial, and resurrection of Hiram Abiff, the Biblical architect of the Temple of Solomon. Abiff constructed two massive brass pillars at the entrance of the temple and was thought to be the keeper of cosmic secrets. According to Masonic legend, Abiff was killed by three apprentice stonemasons who were trying to get him to divulge the secret name of God. When he refused to tell them, they killed him with a blow to the forehead...
CremasterFanatic.com is compiled and maintained by artist Eric Doeringer.

by Anthony Galli
Dec. 1, 2017

Deep in the heart of darkness, or at least in some secluded lair in a Philippine jungle, mad scientist Dr. Gordon, with his blank faced and slightly daft but beautiful daughter Neva, is preparing a mutant race of “super-beings,” creatures genetically modified to survive the coming ecological apocalypse. He really believes this.

In the meantime, deadpan hotshot, and all around white guy, Matt Farrell is kidnapped while scuba diving in the pristine waters near Dr. Gordon’s hideaway. Apparently, Farrell’s DNA is of superior quality, and is just what the doctor needs to bring his plan of a man/animal (manimal, if you will) hybrid super-race to successful fruition. Naturally, hilarity ensues as Dr. Gordon, Matt Farrell, and Steinman, an ambiguously sexual one-named Neo-Nazi throwback with unreliable hair, match wits for dominance in this New Zoological Eden...

Anthony Galli currently lives in Athens, Georgia. He shares a birthday with his black cat, Magic, and they both claim Wings of Desire as their favorite film. Anthony has published two books of poetry, Amnesia for Insomniacs and Invisible Idiot.

by Chris Martin
Nov. 30, 2017
Some titles are inescapable. The Day the Earth Stood Still, Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, and Don’t Look Now all carry that spark of burning curiosity that is the basic draw of all genre films. They give you an effect or a demand without revealing the subject of the action. We don’t know why the Earth stood still, or what Alfredo Garcia did, nor do we know what we can’t look at now and why not, but in all these cases the less known about the subject makes the film that much more appetizing. Surf Nazis Must Die may reveal too many of its cards at the forefront, despite the fact that its commanding, declarative tone does raise, arguably unneeded, questions. Its absurd power is too great to hide behind such things as nuance and subtlety. Swastikas on wetsuits and switchblades on surfboards cannot, and should not, be hidden behind a curtain of restraint. Life is too short to keep flamboyantly dressed surfing fascists out of the limelight..
Christopher Martin recently graduated from the University of Massachusetts, Amherst with a degree in English and a specialization in Film Studies. Shockingly, he is currently underemployed. In his free time Chris likes to read old science fiction novels, enjoy what little nightlife Western Massachusetts has to offer, and watch as many films as possible. He also spends too much time on Tumblr.